The day before an important dinner party is not the time to soil your tuxedo unnecessarily, and have to run to the local cleaners for stain removal. The lapel had received a serious blow from a drop or two of Chablis when we were last at the Muffington’s, and my wife had not acted with the required haste to have it removed. Therefore, we were at an impasse when it came time to decide what attire should escort us to the most preeminent event of the season. Howard, our man, had just related to some clod or another selling, I believe it was Stanley Home Products, that he should depart the premises quickly or be subject to a most disgraceful exit in the teeth of our guard dogs. The Stanley Home Products gentleman was most insistent however, and wagered that he could remove the offending spot, and leave a pleasant odor behind as well.

Stain removal not being my forte, and wagers always an attractive diversion, I asked him in and bade him produce this stain removal wonder that he espoused so vigorously. If it could get the stain out of that lapel, it would be worth a fortune, but I did not choose to divulge this particular information to him. He produced a Stanley Home Products satchel, which looked cheap even compared to the thirty dollar sateen suit he was wearing, and proceeded to unveil the miracle of the orange. Howard stalked up the stairs, in his usual dignified manner, and returned with the article in his possession. The little salesman quickly saturated the stain, and then we waited, unimpressed so far, for the results.

Wonder of wonders, when he deftly wiped away the product, the stain was no more, and there was a pleasant hint of orange blossoms in the air. Wine is not the easiest target for stain removal, but, in spite of his stature, the gentleman made a believer out of me. When my wife came home and said that the cleaners could not get to the suit until the next day, and they required at least three days to remove the stain, I produced the coat and showed her the results of my days work. She was a little worried that I had allowed a stranger into the house, but she was pleased that the tuxedo was sufficiently recovered that I could make a grand entrance at the yearly country club ball.