How to Win Back Your Ex Wife
By Jon Fera
So I made a decision I'd get her back--at any cost. Sadly , all I did was insure that she would never take me back in any way. All I did was screw things up and make sure that I might never get my ex back.
Looking back, I will see that it did not have to be this way. There are things I could of done differently that would not have ended up with me losing my ex.
If I knew then what I know now, I could have survived that break up and at last gotten back together. So what was it I did, that totally ruined my chances? I moped.
This was not simply because I was feeling down. I really thought that if my ex could see how much this break up truly hurt me, they'd know how much I cared. Seeing this, they'd need to get back with me--right? But I could not have been more wrong.
This is as true for girls as it is for men. Folks need to be around people who are ecstatic, healthy, and fun to be around. Mopers are not chuffed, they don't appear healthy, and they're just no fun to be around. There are one or two folk out there who will be interested in moping.
But these are mental predators of the worst sort, and you need to keep away from them. It's natural to need to grasp what your ex is up to, right after a split. After all, you are used to spending a huge period of time with them. It almost feels wrong not to at least know what they are up to.
You may think that keeping up with what your ex is doing, will relieve the discomfort and stress you are feeling after a break-up.
But the straightforward fact is, it's a ton more certain to drive you mad instead. You will also begin to look a little mad, if you get caught. I did not think I was doing anything unusual, when I asked my buddies what my ex was up to, went to work out if my ex was online, and drove past my ex's work.
But my ex had a different opinion about it. All this did was confirm their call to dump me. This did not help me get my ex back at all--in fact, it only helped totally spoil my probabilities. Nothing makes you look desperate and / or psycho like calling all of the time.
Even folks who are still in relations get pissed off when their serious other calls consistently to check on them. You can think how bad it is to do to someone who just dumped you.
I do not have to imagine. When I asked her if it might be better if I text messaged her, she just hung up on me. Plus, when you call or text all of the time, you are showing that you don't' have enough of a life of your own.
Neither one of these things are interesting. They are about 0 % likely to help win your ex-wife or husband back. Lay off on the calls and texts. Sure, it was comprehensible for me to get depressed. I have never met anyone who did not get at least a little depressed after getting dumped.
But I did the most horrible thing you can ever do with a depressing time--I just wallowed around in it. It would be bad enough for me to sit around pondering the good times we'd had, and how we were not having them any more. But I had to do one better--I sat around pondering how depressed I was.
I kept going over in my head the precise words she revealed when she dumped me. I concentrated on how sad she announced she was with me. I kept thinking time after time about how much I sucked, to have driven her away. As you may imagine, I just got more depressed. And as you may imagine, this made me intensely not attractive.
You can just look worse if you wallow around in your depression. And please, whatever you do, don't scour your memories, hunting for times when you were doing it wrong.
I know due to experience that you are certain to judge yourself much more cruelly than you must. Moping, spying, badgering, and reveling in depression are a selection of the worst things you can do after a split. Fortunately for me, I was in a position to turn myself and my behaviors around and get my ex back. But it would have been a lot simpler if I had not freaked out and indulged in these 4 terrible behaviors.
Winning your ex wife back?
I don’t like the word winning but can’t think of a better term. But I am looking for ideas on how to gain back my ex’s trust and to have her fall in love with me again. I buy her flowers for her birthday and try to help her where I can. I know everyone says they are ex’s and move on but she is not in a relationship with anyone and I have a daughter with her and I really love her and miss her. We may be divorced but if she hasn’t moved on and we are still friends and get along great I still feel like fighting for her. What are some ways I can gain trust back with her and have her fall in love with me all over again. I am trying to have patience and give her some space. We have only been divorced a couple of months. Neither cheated on each other when we were married.
Divorced because of financial problems, trust issues, her wanting to be independant. It was 99 percent my fault and I have apologized a lot
I haven’t watched fireproof and she didn’t want to see it with or without me. She is the one who initiated the divorce and the trust issues were with her not with me. I wanted to do whatever it took to stay married even if it meant to stay seperated longer to get things straightened. We weren’t even seperated a year before the divorce. It was a very quick divorce and no lawyers
First you need to figure out why you two split.
Second you need to figure out if that has changed.
If you were more at fault, and you have actually changed, show her that. Be friends with her and let her find out you are now a different man. Be ready to accept that she may not want to chance the pain again, but you can be there for her as a friend. You never know what might happen a couple years down the road.
A lot of people believe that there are ways for getting your ex back!
There are some things you can do or not do that will increase your chances of getting back your ex.
Here is a great website on how to get your ex back. Check it out if you are interested:
http://www.exbackguides.com/
You stated “winning” her back. Think as to how you “won” her in the first place. Be her friend. Show her that you are and can be the same man she fell for in the beginning. Men, and women, forget how they first became attracted to one another and slowly drift apart wanting to be some thing or someone else and mostly when the divorce is immanent they ask why did this happen and how can I change it. I’m a firm believer that actions speak louder than words, show her how you feel, show her you are the man she loved in the beginning, and be true to her and yourself.
Has anyone married there ex wife? If you did how did you win her back?
I guess i was wondering if anybody out there has any advice on how to win your ex back
does anyone know how to win your ex back?
alright well my wife moved me down to her home town a few weeks ago and then 2 days ago she cheated on me with this guy and came home the next day which was yesterday and got all of her stuff and said she wanted a divorce, i have tried everything, begging and all the above
How to win my wife back?
I’m in a 2 yrs marriage with my wife. Last month we had a bad fall out over bad communication and now we live in two separate households trying to raise our daughter. My wife accused me of cheating, in a way I did. But, it took me 2 wks to realize that. I have some co-workers that I go out to lunch with in a public place from time to time. The lunches are completely innocent. I never tried or had the intentions of sleeping with anyone other than my wife. In my mind, I thought that I wasn’t doing anything wrong. My wife has been going though my phone and checking my call log and text messages the past 3 months. She never once, expressed any discomfort with my relationship with these woman. So, I thought that it was ok, as long as I never tried to take further than a friendship. Long story short, I found out that my wife was in contact with her ex. The dude that she cheated on me with five years ago. When I approached her about it, all of the sudden my relationship with these women are a issue. She been going through my phone the past 3 months and expressed any discomfort. I’m in sales and I’m a good talker with women. I used flirtatious words with them, but not in the matter that I want them sexually. Such as when are we going to do lunch again, grace me with your beauty, when can I get together again. I admit, these are not the best words. My relationship with these women are strictly professional. Nothing more and nothing less. I never tried to sleep with anyone. I come home every night and come home on my light days from work. I love my wife. I never cheated on her. She claimed I did and move out, because I was angry with her being in contact with her ex and she felt scar for her life. I asked her what do she expect, I seen her emails. She lied about her being in contact with him and I flashed on her in a non-physical way. I called her things that I never call her before. I gave her the numbers to these women and told her contact them. I have a complicated wife as far as doing fun things with her, its the hardest thing to do. So I seek advice from these women on what a woman want from their man. Everything is blown out of proportion and I want my wife back. The funny thing about our relationship is that she doesn’t have any married friends or any friends dedicated in their relationship. Any suggestions?
Do I have any chance to win back my exgirlfriend?
Obviously I have to give you some background information so that you may be able to give me your opinion.
I met my exgirlfriend about a year ago. At the time I had been separated from my wife for 3 years and was in the middle of a divorce fight. I wasn’t really looking to get into a relationship until my divorce was finalized, but things just kinda happened. My exgirlfriend was very loving and caring and always there for me. Coming out of a bad relationship where I was ignored, I misinterpretted my girlfriends behavior as being overwhelming, smothering, and a little too much. That, combined with my soon to be ex-wife’s fighting with me…slowly led to me avoiding my girlfriend. I would often turn her down for going out. I would rather stay home by myself than sit down with her because I thought that I might take out my stress on her. Little by little we drifted apart and next thing you know, we were done. My now ex-girlfriend and I worked together at the time, so we stayed in each others lives. We talked everyday, went to the movies, went to lunch…and generally had a good friendship. In July, my divorce was finalized. I started to hang out with my ex-girlfriend a little more and more in hopes of getting a second chance. During the time when I was ignoring her, she began to take classes and met some friends she began to hang out with. She always told me that these people were just friends. Well, in the last two weeks I’ve discovered that my ex has started to date one of these friends. Obviously, I now panicked and made all of my feeling known to my ex. This declaration of mine upset her. Crying…she told me “why couldn’t you tell me this 2 months ago”, “why did you have to see me with someone else to realize all this?”
It’s been a tough week. I now realize that I truly love her and treated her badly during my divorce. We’ve talked alot and I know some may now be thinking that it’s over and I should just move on, but she’s said and done some things that have me hanging on. Here are some of the things:
1. She’s told me that I am the most important person in her life
2. She’s told me that her current relationship isn’t serious and that she’s not really even attracted to the guy, it’s just that she was lonely and he asked her out…and he treats her well.
3. When I mentioned that I may move out of town to take a job she said that I can’t leave her here…that she would go with me.
4. That I have to be patient and let her get over her pain….pain that I caused.
5. That during our post-breakup period, when she would invite me to lunch or the gym she was really trying to get a second chance with me. I usually turned her down.
6. She tells me that she doesn’t “Love” this guy….like she loved me.
7. I asked her if she still had feelings for me and she said “You know I do”
8 She said that sometimes she’s at the movies with him and all she’s doing is sitting there thinking of me.
My gut tells me that she just started dating this guy because she was lonely…and that if I had declared my feelings before she met this guy….we would be back together….but now that he’s involved, it’s a bit more complicated. She’s a nice girl and when I asked her to break it off with this guy she said that that would be too mean and that for now I had to wait for him to “drop the ball”.
What do you guys think? How should I proceed? I know that I cannot do anything to sabotage this relationship she’s in and that I shouldn’t ignore her either.
Any suggestion?